The question that always bugged me for so long, that I just couldn’t get over was how God could allow all this pain to happen to those He cares for. I remember for so long I couldn’t even pray because I felt like my prayers would not be answered. I had prayed for protection, I had prayed over and over Dear God help me, and I felt like He had not come, He stood there and let it all happen. I mean, I questioned this for years. Therefore, my relationship with God faltered and my prayer life was non-existent. It seemed there was no answer for my question. I had come to the conclusion that God just couldn’t be there for everyone all the time. I compared it to having a child. That you wish and hope for your child to be safe and not to be hurt, but, even if they are walking right beside you, sometimes they fall and you were not fast enough to catch them. I was saying God just wasn’t fast enough.
Because of all my questioning, the book of Job haunted me. I thought of all the turmoil and pain he went through, that God allowed to happen to him, that the Devil had asked permission to test and torture, and God said yes, to me it seemed, simply to prove a point. I knew the story. I had heard it over and over growing up. I had no need to read it. Or so I thought. It wasn’t until last summer; I was visiting with a friend who was a youth minister. We got on the discussion of Job and if God was there or not and he encouraged me to try to read it again, but with a different perspective. You see, at the end of Job, he finally questions God. He had suffered loss and pain more than many people I have encountered and he had finally had enough. He didn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen. What he had done wrong to bring this on himself. What he could do to right his path again. So he questioned God. This is towards the end of the book, after chapters and chapters of torment and pain from the Devil. And God then replies to Him, “Do you not know who I am, do you not remember who you are talking to? Who are you to question my plans; do you think you could even comprehend all that is in the works here? “
And, for some reason, it all finally seemed to make sense. Well, not really make sense, but I came to a realization that all this, the life we live and the things that go right and the things that go wrong, are just a part of life. God allowed free will, which allowed sin into the world, which means things are going to be really bad at times. Bad things are going to happen to good people, and we aren’t going to have an explanation for them. I still don’t. But I have decided that God was there and His heart was breaking the whole time mine was. And, He had the crumpled mess that I had become in His hands. But, I had free will. I had to decide which path I was going to go down. And, I believe the whole time I had been trying to figure it all out, to try to come up with my own conclusion, He was whispering to me. He was whispering to just give it all to Him. He was saying I didn’t have to try to figure it out, what’s done is done, but today is a new day. And, if I would just hand it over to him; all my heartache and pain and questions and confusion; if I would give it so him, He could turn it into something good, and pure, and full of joy. I believe, he was whispering this to me. And, as soon as I came to this realization, my heart became much lighter.
At the end of the book of Job, God blesses Job with double of everything he had. His family, livestock and health prospered. Job would never forget the suffering he went through, but was able to go on to live a very fulfilled life. And you know what? If that story had not been in there, I would not have been able to come to my understanding and find my own peace of mind. That one story has probably touched more lives than we will ever know. But, how could God have ever explained that to Job?
Everything may or may not happen for a reason, but whatever does happen, if you give it to Him, I believe He can find the good and make it blossom, and you, my friend, will find a peace of mind.