Every day is a different battle, but then again, the exactly same. At some point or another, I will be faced with the same thing I was faced yesterday, and I will have to decide, again, to keep pushing forward, to not let it take me in and consume me. And then, I have to try to smile and laugh and remember that I want to be living life fully, and not through a cloud of dismay. Every day, it crosses my mind somehow, more often than not, it slaps me in the face. There are so many questions unanswered, that will never be answered, that I could dwell on for the rest of my life. But I choose to win this battle. I choose to keep going and to smile and laugh when I can. And, in order to do this, I have to look at it like I do other unpleasant memories. I look it at like my friend’s death, and other deaths in my life. Those are also moments that changed my life forever. And, honestly, a part of me has died as well. I will never be who I once was. So, I have taken those moments, learned to appreciate them for what they are, look back at them from time to time, to let myself be sad for their entirety when needed, and then, go on. I have to look at it like that. I have to go on. Like just another moment I do not have control over, that I cannot change, that I cannot blame myself for or wonder about a different outcome. It happened and it is what it is. And, every day, I have to remind myself of that. Because I know, deep in my heart, a different person can be born. I can be more than what I have been for the last seven years. I can overcome and still become a woman I am proud of, who can stand tall and look back courageously at the tormented past and say, I win. I will win this battle. Because I will not quit trying.